I often hear people say they are not patient enough to teach or homeschool. They could NEVER do it. It's not "in" them. I'm never quite sure how to respond. Yes, patience is needed, but patience is not a gift only some of us have. She, Patience, is in each of us, waiting (patiently in fact) for us to call upon her.
In truth, we are all teachers whether we wish to be or not, especially if we are parents. We facilitate and model; we gift to our children the ways we handle situations, speak to others, treat others. We teach our beliefs, values, how we take care of ourselves; they learn all this by watching us interact in the world.
And these are the lessons they learn the quickest.
And they are always watching.
In truth, we gift our children these lessons whether we wish to give them or not.
So as parents, we become present, and we rethink what we are modeling and how we are speaking. We become present because when we aren't, we can witness in our children what we didn't want to pass on to them. My daughter, at two, saying "SHOT" loudly each time something didn't go her way was one vowel away from the word I let slip way too often.
Having patience is no different.
If we want to have patience, Patience asks us first to become present.
Being present means, we do one thing at a time.
It means we don't allow distractions to take our attention away.
It means wanting to be where we are or at least with the person we are with.
It means the laundry, dishes, bills, tv shows, facebook, whatever we "could be doing" is not nearly as important as what we are doing.
Patience also asks us to problem solve.
We figure out how to reword, rethink, redo what isn't working without giving up, giving in, or getting angry.
And she asks us, most importantly maybe, to be gentle.
We will lose her. We all do.
We have too many strings pulling on us, and we forget to breathe and sometimes we aren't sure what to focus on first.
If we want to tap into our patience, we have to cut some strings. We are not puppets.e have to try again to be present, problem solve, be gentle, focus on that one person or one thing that is needing us to say, "You have my attention."
We try again to be present, problem solve, be gentle.
We focus on that one person or one thing that is needing us to say, "You have my attention."
And when we do, Patience, she comes, willingly, to all of us.
A re-post from 2014.